“Mom, can I have a Bratz doll?” our six year old asks. The answer is always no. I am not considered a very conservative person, but when it comes to our daughter and pop culture, I feel a lot like Madonna. The pop singer, of course. The rules of inappropriateness are a skewed version of the age old saying “Do as I say not as I do” because while I am not necessarily in pasties dancing on a stage singing “Like a Virgin” I am an adult. There are various contradictions when it comes to the rules. I do not buy tiny high heels for her. She can wear high heels when she dresses up for the prom. We have played with makeup, but she doesn’t wear makeup. She can barely manage to wear Dr. Pepper flavored chap stick. When ever we buy it, it somehow magically ends up in the dryer. Leaving really fun grease spots that only Palmolive & a toothbrush can take out.
Those clothes, that I so lovingly restore to their natural, chapped selves are usually unbranded. When I met my husband I was wearing a bright red adidas shirt. Though I wasn’t necessarily a mallrat, I frequently wore Roxy Quiksilver, Rusty and whatever other brands where popular seven years ago. He snowboarded, but aside from a pair of goggles and his snowboard(which he “customized” with alterations), he was against labels. He figured if they aren’t paying him to promote their product, why should he? This somehow resonated with me, especially after all the money that went down the drain just to have a label. If the clothes where made well enough, the label was more respected for being discreet anyway. This is how we dress ourselves and this is how we dress our kids & in some ways having an autonomous wardrobe is just as important as being age appropriate.
Trinity-June 6th 08′
I don’t like her to wear bikini’s or belly shirts and she adopted the idea of wearing a camisole underneath most shirts. As a parent, you pick your battles and this is an obsession I will not argue. We will never buy her a pair of shorts that say “bootylicious” across the ass(yes, I have seen them). She will not partake in the Abercrombie kids thong revolution & we are steering clear of the gateway drug mass marketing exposure that is Hannah Montana. I don’t mind if she likes Miley’s music but my generation has braved the Britney Spears marketing phenom and we know better right, RIGHT? All of the backpacks for back to school are Hannah embellished but she actually had a backpack from last year that wasn’t terribly worn and she decided to “recycle” her backpack for this year, which made this pseudohippiewannabe mama so proud.
The contradiction is when it comes to jewelry. Being the daughter of a jewelry maker she sometimes gets samples. Maybe something didn’t turn out right, or maybe she just looks at me with puppy dog eyes and I can’t resist spoiling her a little. When I worked retail I wanted to design a coworkers granddaughter a piece. We concluded that my jewelry was just too grown up for grandpa’s standards and that was fine, but it opened my eyes a little to how differently we all gauge appropriateness. The bracelet I recently gave to my daughter, a sterling silver bracelet in feminine faceted pinks and tom boy tough greens upcycled from buttons from her brothers holey pants(not holy as in spiritual, but holey as in headed to the trash) made me think.
Where do other people cross the line when they choose clothing for their kids? Do some parents allow scandalous clothes and glittery accessories because they want their kids to be able to make up their own minds and develop their own tastes? I feel that while I am not a explicitly conservative, there is a point where I need to step in and offer guidance. When you exercise guidance with an open mind, you shouldn’t feel concern that you are oppressing their personalities. You should be concerned if you aren’t devoted to developing them.
